Welcome back friends…how are you? I really feel like I am getting to know you as some of you have reached out and asked questions and signed up for my freebies, all the things. So fun!
Some of you are really dusty off those old goals and ambitions and getting after it.
Shout out to my sister Barb who is losing the weight, riding the horse, living her new dream life.
So proud of her.
So, this is episode #23 and today I want to share with you 5 powerful questions that you can ask yourself when you find yourself spinning in confusion as it relates to creating your outcome.
Listen here or read on…
Here is why you need these tools.
As soon as you decide to do something, anything, like; lose the weight, launch the business, marry the guy, move across county, go for the promotion…whatever it is, your brain likes to go into a spin cycle of confusion.
- How are we going to do that?
- How can we even afford it?
- Where will I find the time?
- What if it doesn’t work out, how long is it going to take anyway.
- How, how, how…
Nothing stops us in our tracks faster than spinning in and ruminating in confusion and indecision.
It doesn’t even matter what the decision is. Sometimes is pops up once we have decided on what to have for dinner!
How many times have you decided on what to order off of a menu and them you have the thought, oh I really should have tried this instead. I have a friend that literally takes 30 minutes to decide and it’s so comical to watch her get so dramatic over what to eat, like we can’t come back and try the other things later, so funny. But that’s how the brain works.
In episode 7 and 8 I talk about decisions so today I want to talk about confusion and introduce a more powerful emotion…curiosity.
In 2019, I chose the word curios as the emotion that I wanted to experience the most. I chose to focus on that word daily, look for evidence of my curiosity and really take note of the outcome in my life as a result of being curios.
It takes practice to be curious. About yourself and what is going on in your own brain.
It takes practice coming up with great questions to ask yourself from a place of curiosity vs confusion.
Confusion is easy to access. That where the brain likes to go. That’s where my brain like to go if it’s left unmanaged.
Confusion is familiar and easy to access but it’s exhausting. It doesn’t feel good to be confused and it keeps us from moving forward.
The whole point of confusion is to keep you in bed watching hulu eating oreos. Instead of chasing your dreams and creating the life of your heart’s desire.
Confusion has you reaching outside of yourself for answers and validation and evidence.
I came up with 5 powerful questions that I asked myself that helps me stay out of confusion and on the path of curiosity.
Here is why I think having these questions handy is important.
When you are working toward an outcome, a goal, whatever you are trying to accomplish, your brain is going to throw you questions that are designed to keep you spinning in place verses moving the needle forward.
Remember…
The brains has its own motivational strategy to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy.
To manage your brain through this, you need to manage the questions you allow yourself to ponder.
We need to ask ourselves powerful, needle moving questions instead of draining questions.
If you have been following me, you know that my big goal is to earn my bronze medal in dressage.
My brain throws my all sorts of weak and powerless thoughts meant to keep me confused instead of moving forward.
Like…how are you going to medal with him, he has never been shown. What make you think that you can do this, you aren’t getting any younger. Don’t you think he is too much horse for you, was 17 hands really necessary. How are you going to get there when you don’t even know how he is going to travel? What if he blows up and spooks, that will be embarrassing and scary? What if you get there and you are too afraid to even try? What about spending all this money and it could be for nothing.
The list goes on, you get my point.
None of these questions are powerful, and they don’t move the needle.
They are designed to talk me out of pursuing my goal. They are designed to have me question my decision and my commitment to my goal.
The truth is, I could never know that answer to any of those questions and so I can’t spend a single minute ruminating in any of them.
Your brain is designed to talk you out of your goal too. Your brain will always throw you thoughts that make you question and second and third guess yourself.
How are you going to be able to afford it? Where will you find the time? What’s the point anyway? Look at all the things you will have to give up. What makes you think this time will be any different? Who do you think you are anyway? Aren’t you too old for this?
So, when you find yourself ruminating in confusion, indecision, second guessing yourself, first of all, awareness is KING so just notice that you seem to be spinning.
You will feel like you want to quit on your goal and you will start feeling doubtful, discouraged and disappointed. You may actually feel it before you recognize that you are spinning.
Curiosity on the other hand, now this is an interesting emotion that has you asking questions designed to move you forward and moving the needle and figuring it out, creating a lane, it ahs you not afraid of trying new things, taking creative and productive and interesting action.
Confusion tries to stall you and tries to talk you out of it, curiosity creates a path and creates a conduit to the answers.
Think of a goal that you have, maybe even one you have put on the shelf a few times. Get it down today and think about it.
Let’s put your goal through the five questions model.
Here we go…
- What would you do today if you knew without a shadow of doubt that your result is not only possible it is inevitable?
- How would you show up today with that knowledge, with that knowing?
- What if you did know exactly what to do, what would you do next?
- What will it feel like to create that results?
- What can you do today that will help you access those emotions today?
So here is how I answered these questions.
- I would practice trailering Dutch and take him to a few arenas and ride him in a variety of settings. I would do all the things I know to do to be prepared for him to spook. I would work out and be super fit and strong and healthy. Fitness would be top of mind every day. I would lean in to the process and not second and third guess my path.
- I would show up determined, and confident and prepared.
- Set up a schedule and go to a new place every week. Work out daily.
- Accomplished, empowered, strong.
- Manage my thoughts, keep moving forward every day moving the needle toward my goal. Keep powerful thoughts available and let go of the weak, powerless thoughts.
I know that listening to my say these words sounds like it’s just words but…your words matter.
Here are my final thoughts.
What you ruminate on is what you create, invite, and attract into your life.
The words that you think and the words that you say are that powerful, they are what creates the fuel for your action. The words are what create the results.
Give it a try this week and see if you don’t move the needle toward creating the next step in your life. Whatever you want to create for you, it’s possible my friend, and actually, it’s inevitable.
If you are ready to take this work to the next level, ping me.
Alright my friends…have the best week ever!
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